FAQ

The Somatica Method of Sex and Relationship  Coaching offers a "relationship lab" experience, which means that the  client(s) and coach interact vulnerably and authentically with one  another as they explore what is deeply desired in intimate  relationships. It is an embodied approach that focuses on how we limbically connect with ourselves and others.

Integrating body awareness and sensitivity into our experience allows us to know and  express ourselves more fully in the world.  It often leads to an  explosion of creativity, inspiration, and passion for life.

The Somatica Method is experiential. We practice a wide array of relational  and communication tools that allow one to practice skills for  successful connection, erotic embodiment and deeper intimacy. We don't just talk, we practice. We also give and receive feedback about what's working and what isn't. Research shows that people learn and institute change by engaging in the actual experience of doing, and practicing skills. This coaching style allows for rapid change in behavior, skills and confidence.

This work is for anyone who wants to have amazing sex, enriching relationships, and support in moving through the complexities of being human. Intimacy coaching is a loving, guided encounter with your own authenticity — your private longings, villains and dreams — to ultimately make you more connected and free. The tools you will learn can last a lifetime. You might consider working with me if any of the following resonate:

• You wonder why the fairy tale hasn’t happened yet or worked out for you
• You wish there were more to the pleasure and intimacy you are currently experiencing
• You want to become a better lover and feel more confident during sex
• It’s hard to ask for what you want or need, either in or out of the bedroom
• Sex simply doesn't feel that important or good to you (but it might to your partner)
• You are stuck in your head with performance anxiety, negative body image or a loud inner critic
• You have trouble relaxing into intimacy or staying present during sexual experiences
• It feels like your emotions get the better of you during conflict, and you want help having difficult conversations
• You feel isolated and ashamed of your desires
• There are topics you don’t feel comfortable discussing with a therapist

Intimacy is learned, felt and understood through the body. Unfortunately, there is no magic pill to bypass the steps it takes to learn new skills, rewire old patterns of emotional reactivity, embody new ways of being, or change core beliefs about how sex and relationships are supposed to be. Experience is a better teacher than talk therapy when it comes to uncovering the full landscape of your sexuality and transforming the habits that no longer serve you.

In our work together, I will offer embodiment exercises — both educational and therapeutic — that emphasize your connection with your body, expand your inner wisdom, and increase your expertise in physical and emotional closeness. This hands-on, practical approach is grounded in the latest neuroscience: the more we think, feel and encounter a certain concept, the more likely it is to integrate into our experiences and worldview.

Everything we practice is done with mutual permission and consent. You have the right to stop or change anything we are doing, at any time, for any reason. I am committed to your agency, your safety, your comfort and your boundaries. 

Traditional talk and sex therapy often approach intimacy and sexuality from a pathologized, dysfunctional perspective. They are generally focused on correcting a problem, not expanding into the mind blowing. The dynamic between you and your therapist is also asymmetrical: the therapist will learn a lot about you, and you will know little about them.

As your coach, my goal is to help you thrive. Our work together is mutual and relational, which allows me to provide support, education and feedback in a way that no therapist (or romantic partner) ever may. By guiding you from my own embodied and boundaried authenticity, I am able to offer experiential, hands-on practices that are more specific and accurate for fostering the changes that you want to see. Attraction and arousal may appear, which can be valuable tools for exploring your erotic mind and the things that may be holding you back in intimacy. We explore relationship dynamics in a safe, vulnerable and boundaried container, virtually. Our work together will not include nudity, or arousal with the intention of orgasm.

Although my practice draws on several healing modalities, intimacy coaching is not psychotherapy. I am not a physician, psychiatrist, psychologist, licensed social worker, or licensed marriage and family therapist. I do not offer therapy, psychotherapy, or medical advice.

Absolutely. Sexuality, desire and fantasies are deeply personal, vulnerable, and sometimes touch our darker realms. Our coaching relationship is confidential and I prioritize your privacy. This includes not only our sessions, but any information that you share as part of our work together. Adhering to the strictest levels of confidentiality is part of my code of ethics as a Somatica-Trained Practitioner, and is defined in my coaching agreement. Apart from financial records, I will not keep any identifying information about you or our work together. If I am working with you as a couple, I will never share any information with your partner(s) that we discuss in individual sessions.

Intimacy coaching sessions are highly individualized, but follow a structured (yet flexible) format. After we have gotten to know one another and collaboratively set goals for our work together, a typical session might include:

• Exploration and body awareness using breathwork and visualization to expand your connection to your emotions, eroticism, physical sensations and inner experiences.
• Dialogue and reflection as we examine the messages and expectations you may have internalized about sex and relationships, including how they may be impacting the intimacy in your life. We can talk about anything, including topics you may never before have felt comfortable (or safe) to ask or share.
• Education and skill building to learn practical skills and techniques that enhance communication, emotional connection and sexual expertise.
• Experiential practices designed to integrate new ways of being and relating into your lived experience. Through experiential learning, you have the opportunity to rewire unhelpful patterns, embody new behaviors, heal old wounds and expand your intimacy worldview.
• Integration and takeaways where we discuss how any new insights might be incorporated into your life and relationships moving forward.

Our online sessions are a safe, supportive space to build a vocabulary between your mind, body and eroticism, and learn to share that language in your relationships and sex life.

For your safety and convenience, all sessions are held virtually. Working online allows me to support individuals anywhere in the world and with different abilities. It can offer a unique sense of safety for those who may be hesitant about this work, wish to remain anonymous, or are less comfortable with intimacy and connection.

For our sessions, it’s best if we can arrange a time where you have the privacy to speak freely, and won’t be interrupted. Although it is helpful for me to see your facial expressions and hear your voice, some of my clients (initially) prefer not to be on camera.